I realize that it is something I always knew...

I am 18, and as I grasp this issue of homosexuality, I realize that it is something I always knew, sort of a silent understanding with myself, but life went on, and growing up I never made it a big issue. I felt different from a very early age, but than again, I never knew was it was like to be very normal anyway, so I figure that I didn't miss much. Having an older brother gaurenteed me to an adolescence of tomboy activities. Hanging out with his friends was much cooler than hanging out with dumb girls who only cared about what the boys thought anyway. The teenage years struck, with a startling result, and all of my brothers friends began to be interested in me. Not friend interested, but girlfriend interested. I had already had my slew of boyfriends... always looking for something that I suppose would never be there. Then I had my first lesbian expierence, and I finally admitted to myself that I was gay. You would never know it from looking at me, which is better I suppose, because I want people to know me for who I am, not my sexual orientation. Anyway, attending a magnet Art High School, where allot of the guys were openly gay, led me to finally coming out to my friends. Some of them said they had their suspisions because I never had boyfriends around, and others said they had no clue. They all took it well, and the point is, they accepted ME, That segueyed into me telling my brother. He accepted it in disbelief, because he always thought that everything about me was perfect. I told him that I don't see my sexuality as a curse, and that if he wanted to think everything around my life was still perfect, he could. I have yet to tell my parents. I figure I will wait until I am out of the house, either in college, or after that. Part of me thinks they already know, but that they really don't want to admit it. My parents are Catholic Republicans, very proud of my grades and talent, and constantly trying to fix me up with the "perfect" guy. I let them think that I don't have a steady boyfriend because I go to a high school where allot of the guys are gay, and that I truly love going to movies with thier co-worker's sons. I do this because at this time in my life, it's easier than hurting them. I know that time will end soon enough, and that they will love me nontheless, but until then, I keep it to myself. I am who I am, and that is enough for me.